MZUNI GOSSIP

Dear administrator.

I used to attach no credence to the theory of evolution, but damn! That stuff must be damned real. Why? Well coz of the wild behavior that has over-taken some Mzuni community members. Come every morning we hear lots and lots and lots and lots and lots of nasty stuff not befitting humans happening around; lean on me, 3rd year gal being done the deed by his ex’s best friend who actually orchestrated the relationship’s terminal and has been discouraging the ex from making it up to the gal, gal contracts STGs (Sexually Transmitted Grades, wamasitazi uja watafuna ka yaro kenanso, gal entertains two usiku umodzi, some fellas have it off outside the library, ana a yaro ashowana, a final year gal dumps a used condoms in the corridor with ngini momwemo after a heavy night of being rigorously and vigorously “torn apart”…..

This wild behavior is definitely wild, not human and hence a sure sign that we’re evolving back to animals. I know your reaction will be “we don’t care”, but that’s what wild animals do. They just don’t care how often, where, how, with how many they do it. Ever seen dogs in their mating season? They just don’t care! And if you don’t care too, well you are evolving into one of them (agalu).

Just think of this; someone having zero knowledge on how to properly deal with a condom after use- koma ndiye anamuchita kanthu, sanali myawo ameneyo?
It’s of course a fact that when you are in the act, you don’t think from the head but rather from somewhere in the groin. But please make sure that you get your head back to use immediately after, otherwise we’re bound to see more such ugly and despicable scenes.

I know you don’t care but that’s the attitude dogs have when their “parts” have been locked. Ndiye how different are from agalu? Sooner or later you’ll be walking on all fours naked and you’ll not just care coz you’ll have completely evolved.

If the male genitals were pencils enanu mukanatha ndikusongola kungotsala labala basi. On the other hand, if the male genitals were hole drillers some of these gals would sport boreholes instead. Your reaction will surely be “chikukukhudza ndi chani, we don’t care”. That’s the attitude dogs have akathinirirana!