MZUNI GOSSIP

We are in the boardroom. There are at least six of us. We are here for a disciplinary hearing of a sexual harassment case involving two yearos.

The defendant looks like he could do with a bath while the chick looks like she has spent three weeks herding cattle.

One of us stands up and says: "Ladies and gentlemen gathered here, standing before us is a first year student accused of sexually harassment. Perhaps we should start by giving you a small biography of the accused.

Mr. Accused has been at Mzuni for less than 6 weeks. He, upon arriving at Mzuni, used to tell his friends that he was a parallel student at the Poly and was into marketing! What? Yes, that’s what he was telling his friends. Akuti anali wa parallel koma amapanga marketing! Evening classes? Don’t ask me.

The accused is a devout catholic and when he went to the lake three weeks ago he was seen in the company of some junior. It is said that they were acting lovey-dovey and all was good until the boy learned about a page called mzuni gossip. When the guy accessed the said page he learnt all the dirty things, chizonono, mabomu, chindoko etc that the girl once contracted. That marked the demise of their relationship. In other words, he was saved!

Ladies and gentlemen, on the said day the defendant was in his room when he heard a knock on the door. He opened only to find the plaintiff in the doorway. He let her in and after a couple of minutes the defendant asked the girl to leave but she never listened to his calls.

You may wish to know that these guys have been acquaintances for 4 weeks and they always had supper together.

From what we’ve been told, the guy, after some minutes of trying to convince the girl, asked the girl to have sex with him. ‘Couchez avec moi. Si vous plait’ (Lets have sex), the guy continued to ask the girl, but she shook her head, noooo. ‘Then leave my room’, the boy asked. To the boy’s surprise, she made no attempt to leave.

We have been told that the fact that the girl could not leave the room of this guy propelled him to continue asking the girl for sex. Ladies and gentlemen, it is only normal to ganiza that panoza afanawa anali atatota heavy!

So what did he do next? He forced his way into the pussy (possibly tight) of the girl. Did he wear a condom? I can hear you asking. Well, the guys are here, they will tell us!

Let me stop here. If you have questions you can ask”