MZUNI GOSSIP

Dear administrator,

Saturday, 6th may
I have been following your website since its inception and to say the least, I am impressed. I like the way you tackle issues and how you give us pieces of advice. You are like a parent to some of us.

Perhaps you are wondering who I am? Well I am a well-known imbiber and spend most of my time burning money in the common room. I want to let people know what has been happening in the common room the last two weeks. This is how everything happened!

I was standing, alone, at the counter when it came to my attention that there was a rather odd-looking pair in the common. I glanced their way and I wasn’t surprised to see the guy winking at me. I winked back. Where the hell is her boyfriend? I asked myself.

Two minutes later, the guy bought three tokens. Let me break it down; one pool token and two jukebox tokens. I looked on. I saw them walk, hand in hand, to the jukebox insert a token and in no time the song ‘lean on me’ started playing.

The two people started dancing and lo and behold they started kissing! What’s more they were drinking from the same glass. Where the hell is her boyfriend? I ask.

I have already told you that I am a good imbiber so I was in the common up to around 2am. All this time it was the girl who was buying beer while the guy took long gulps in readiness for what happened later that morning. The two people left and it is rumored that they whiled away the last hours of the morning in the girl’s room (ku kosovo). Another rumor had it that the guy was seen leaving kosovo around 10 am. Where the hell was her boyfriend?

Later that day it became apparent that the hot-blooded girl had sought the company of the yearo tchuwa due to the fact that her boyfriend had walked out on her. In fact, the guy has been chasing different skirts since we opened this semester. What he is doing is useless! Everything is useless. Read the book of Ecclesiastes.

Saturday, 13th may
The girl and her ‘ex’ were back together and were seen in the café eating from the same plate. What the hell has happened to that one-night stander? I asked.

Now ladies and gentlemen this is the part I liked most. I was in the common room when the girl and her boyfriend walked in. I looked around for the girl's one-night stander but he was no where to be seen. The pair started drinking with the guy drinking his favorite, special.

All was well until the girl's one-night stander, a yearo-tchuwa, joined us in the kommonz. He went straight ku counter and bought two juke-box tokens. The first song that he played was 'Dilemma' the second, I was not even interested in it!

'No matter what I do all I think about is you even when I'm with my boo all ....' were the words that were coming out of the speakers. To nobody's surprise, the pair started dancing and in no time they were kissing much to the dismay of the one-stander.

We then saw him walk up to the barman, talk to him and the next thing we realised, the jukebox was switched off.

'Inde, amanama angamavine nyimbo yoika iwe, iweyo ukubisala?' someone cried.

'Kodi iwe tiziti after kugona ndi munthu kamodzi kanakugwetsa n'chikondi? ' another person asked.

The guy walked out of the common and did not return until very late that day.

Falling in love is useless. Looking for love is useless. It is like chasing the wind!