MZUNI GOSSIP

Dear Mzuni Gossip Administrator. First of all let me register a pat on your back for establishing this exciting and informative page. It’s my sincere hope that it will keep Mzuni and all Mzuni graduates abreast of what is happening around this young university. However, try to keep sarcastic and slanderous articles in check, for instance the article on DJ Mzungu versus Dj Flexaform. The article had some vilifying elements which could end up wrecking havoc with the DJs’ emotions.

Mr Administrator sir, let me commend Mzuni for the new yaros who’ll soon be parading up and down the corridors of this TTC turned university. Without mincing words this is a sure sign that the university is developing but the biggest question raping my mind at the moment is, “how does the university define development?” It seems to me that the university views development in terms of numbers and not infrastructure. It’s not anything eye-catching to see that the university is operating with a thimbleful lecture rooms forcing lectures to commence at 7.45 am. With these magnified and zoomed out intakes that the university seem to cherish, lectures will soon be commencing at 3 am and run up to 2 am, affording students one hour within which they have to do assignments, mount and be mounted –lo! God forbid, buy tickets to the mental hospital (mogo) etc

It’s even more pathetic that the university is running out of hostels. Tell you what Mzuni? Kicking members of staff out of the campus so as to create accommodation for students won’t afford a long-term solution. Considering the rate at and the manner in which the university is growing – in terms of numbers -, the problem of students’ accommodation will sooner or later smack the institution in the face again. I guess then the university will resort to housing students at viyele bar, Paris nightclub, “Phwezi girls” et cetera.

Let me go back to the issue of the new chaps who’ve just passed the primary school leaving certificate exams, oops! Mayeso a folomu folo with passing marks as low as 5%. I’m talking about the new yaros of course. The taifa market has of late been heavily patronised by the dudes, mafinale in patricular, possibly to purchase some new attire kuti mwina yaro ikabwera some excited-about-being-in-college girl can fall for them. Komatu ndiye mwachedwa. All these four years Mzuni has fed you, kukutsukani and turn your illiteracy into literacy, you proved to be an unsupplementable failure in kuloledwa, do you now think that you’ll be successful this time? Heaven knows, may be it’s true that finale nkumadzulo – tionela inu.

While you’re contemplating trying your luck again do not turn a blind eye on that Coding theorist who leaves no stone unturned when it comes to taking advantage of the naïve, newly registered girls. I just can’t imagine what it is that makes the innocent ladies ignore the loads of advice from some of his “victims” and fall prey to this hot-blooded fornication theorist. I bet this time he’ll not let even a single one of them slip through his fingers. Let’s also be mindful that some lecturers also take part in wrangle for the scarce “human resource”. By the way rumour has it that the mathematician is planning to parade down the aisle and say “I do” next year. I wish the fornication theorist was so focussed and serious and not be so selfish –zonse zikhale zake eti, kuli matendatu, chindoko, mabomu, kanyera etc.