MZUNI GOSSIP

We have just received an email, telling us that Lindeire tricked level 2z and all other loan applicants on Tuesday. He posted a note saying that they should all go to the dean's office to get some other loan agreement forms.

When these student got to the dean's office, they were all astonished to hear that the dean new nothing about the Lindeire's issue. In anger they all went shouting and calling for his impeachement."We will impeache him because he has fooled us for a lonmg time. He is a lyer and he is not even a good leader. Look at him he is busy feeling himself", read the mail, "We are regreeting for sure. We should have terminated his term of office last time when he was convicted on room administering issue.In case land mgmt students do not know, this guy acted as a matron last semester by giving a room to his Off_Campus mahopu. Moreover sanagwirenso.Anyway we had to vote for him because he had no better person to compete during elections."

We the administrators assume that you have understood from this note, we mean you the vp. You may comment anyway if you are so stupid to deny the truth said here. You and all other viewers may also see: www.mzunitop.blogspot.com

you may not know him but you must have seen him.he is quite,looks innocent he has a dark friend and both of them are second year technician.our focus is on this seemingly quite guy he drinks alot and is fond of coming from the french capital during the hours of saturday and sunday and he usually falls into a certain drain near the kandahar hostels after having one too many.this guy has alot of stories that we can write about but we will follow the sequence.the first part is about his adventures of taiwan.this guy after being bloke and failing to raise money for his french zikheba he decided to try luck with a namwino with boobs he was successful but even before the news had got around the guy had dumped the namwino.now his the reasons for dumping this nurse was he says he is not used to free things and you know how he dumped the nurse "iwe ndi ine chibwezi chatha" but why the girl answered "basi chatha" so sisters beware of the guy he is such a butcher

The level 2z have been asked to pay an extra 100, for the signing of the forms at the courts. "We do not know why he asked us to give 100 in the first place and another 100 after some weeks. May be he wants to gain and use the money as pocket money for his girlfriend.

Yes I think this man is used to such kinds of practices, in the first place he acted as a matron and gave his girlfriend a room, now he is taking to us as a lawyer who is to sign. Why is he becoming a "confusionist?" , I think he will lose this time no matter what. He can not always be saying,"I did this-that, I am doing this-that", is he along in MUSU or may be he is MUSU. We do not know anyway",cry out level 2.

Do yu think you can win all on this campus by playing out such kinds of lies?

During the MULISA trip to Lilongwe, the girl,yes the one that looks like the most ugly girl on the campus though thinking that she is very beautiful that she sleeped with Ma-hopu at the resthouse where they spent a night in Lilongwe.

May be this is the guy she found on Internet when she advertised herself saying that she was looking for a man to marry her if that man does not care loving someone that is on ARVz.

I think this girl can not mention who her man-friend is because she has lots of men-friends on this earth, may be even on other planets like "Maz" and the like. I was wondering why anthu a golira samamuyendera, may be its beacuse they are young for her. May be she loves zikuluzikulu osati zing'onozing'ono ngati ya a tcheya-yelo!

If you tell her that you will come to her room, she will only say "Bwera ngati ukufuna tipite ambiri"

"Good beginning, bad ending of this day to all SDA members". This is coz their trip to Bunda College ya za Ulimi has been blocked by the VC's demand for K110,000.

These guys have been preparing for this trip mwinanso for the whole of this week, only to be cancelled out by the bigman himself after some stupid pieces of advise from his woman and his girlova may be.

Ena mwa mamembawa amakonzekera zokumana ndi matchiki awo, koma awotcha basi. Azikazi awo a kubundawo agona opanda ma panti kukonzekera ntchito ndi ma guy a ku Mzuni koma nawonso awotcha basi. Tizibwezi tawoto tagona to nkhanyula-nkhanyulatu, ndangomva poti "zikachitika mumvera kwa ife".

Kodi VeeCeeyo watani? Mwina poti ka chibwenzikake kaja ndika mpingo wina. Koma kamwana kamenekaja kamafuna chani kwa mdala ngati uja? "Maonekedwe apusisaeti!, kakungomupusisisatu wa forestry uja! Ine ndimadabwa kuti kamakonda kuvala mwa chizimayi, kamafuna kupikisana ndi mrs veecee eti!" Mwinaso sikanawinetu nthawi ijatu!

People have sent me a message saying that mkuluyo anavutitsa kwambiri atapita ku Nkhatabay. Adavutaso mudutsa muyetso ku Rumphi, nay be because he remebered his old wine in rumphi.In Nkhatabay he was assisted by the man from the holi KolANI of Mowa also called Josai, in terms of entertainment. A josai anazikozera m'basi mpana kuiwala ndodo!


Anyway if all people were drunking the way Mchewa and Josai do, then beer would not be allowed in this Nyasaland, May be it helps him in advancing as the new Mlembo anyway.

Anthu akuti Mchewa amakonda kuyimba nyimbo ija yoti "Satana machende ako chifukwa wandidanitsa ndi Yesu!"

If the guy had mahopu, onse anafreezer kale.



Yalo is taking over Mzuni

This was the high voice of a yalo when comming from Nkhatabay on satdy. He claimed that nobody could beat him, even a slap but to the people's surprise he was beaten right inside the bus that same evening.

"Sungandimenye and yalo is taking over Mzuni before that sun rise tomorrow! Pwa! Pwa! Ukuti chani iwe? Pwa! Pwa!
", This was the sound of mbama given to him by the L2 student. Yes that tall man full of Nkhanza! He really looks like a sudden beast!

"I promise to buy you fanta, spot beating me okey! After all ndine mwana! I am just 13. Please stop beating me but Yalo is taking over Mzuni now. Please koma guyz tisalembane me nyuzi!", he went further saying,"the VC will know this before the sun rise tomorrow, Yalo is taking over Mzuni whether you like it or not!!"

Afana ana aja anabona chifukwa cha Tchiki ija yonenepayi anasoma his big mama told him that it is over. "My friend I sleep and my the spirits told me that I should no longer be in love with you because you are just looking for my fruit. I mean the fruit that is in the middle of the garden.

From now on, my boyfriend will be CAPso and Navigetaz. If you want to, continue taking beer and making noise in the coridors. The noise you stopped making coz of me. I know that you were thinking of leaving me after eating my fruit, ndiyeno yendera yako wamva!", claimed the Big mama!

cheya: Kondi Big mama unakusiyiranji?
Frustrated Boy: "Sanandisiye, ndinamusiya chifukwa anthu ankandiseka kwambiri kuti ndina gwira fate fate you know!

After all she can not perform in bed in you! She lied to me that she is a teenager yet she is above menstruating age", May be she will find one in Capso!

It seemes yasanduka ya campani kapena campaign or yabanja. Nkhope za mahopu anu zikupezeka bwaji apa? Are they the most beautiful among Arts and Nurses. I do not think so dear.

The 18 rocks have demanded an immediate removal of the director of makina, he is failing to give good prices.

Akulepheraso kugula malo!

You risk losing some members if they continue behaving like Gods. I mean the director of ufa with the most ugly namwino.

He feel on top of the world yet the food runs out before time in his claimed office.
"Isa, ndiri ndi mkazitu ine! Ndiokongoloa!

You risk impeachment now!

Stat yonetsa kuti:

Chiwewere cha pa weekend total ndi

Ku Kandaha 12

LA 15

Cosovo 10

Namiwawa 18

Mahausi 12

Number of yalos increased.
The number of the yalos, ogwidwa ndi anthu a ku adnin has increase recently after that girl whose has justed ended the affair with that guy implicated in the A-drives has gwidwad to one of the Adminz. The girls guy fainted when the girl told him that the affair is over. Mwina Tchikiyi ndiyokonda ndalama! Mwina amakonda zinthu zoononga moyo wake! Uzamukumbukiratu, oho!

You people in the admin, mukufuna kuti Ache a akugule kuti malo? Please musationongere mayalowa, they are still fresh just as we are. Let fresh blood deal with each other, mwina munavulala kale!

The Adinisitileta, thinks that this yalo must be stupid. I think she does not think of herself. May be she is already destroyed as well.

You may take it or not, I do not mind whether you take it or not.

Number of yalos increased.
The number of the yalos, ogwidwa ndi anthu a ku adnin has increase recently after that girl whose has justed ended the affair with that guy implicated in the A-drives has gwidwad to one of the Adminz. The girls guy fainted when the girl told him that the affair is over. Mwina Tchikiyi ndiyokonda ndalama! Mwina amakonda zinthu zoononga moyo wake! Uzamukumbukiratu, oho!

You people in the admin, mukufuna kuti Ache a akugule kuti malo? Please musationongere mayalowa, they are still fresh just as we are. Let fresh blood deal with each other, mwina munavulala kale!

The Adinisitileta, thinks that this yalo must be stupid. I think she does not think of herself. May be she is already destroyed as well.

You may take it or not, I do not mind whether you take it or not.

The fighter so called Weethawee is at large now after the boss of students in the name of the philo is looking for him. He has destroyed his friends radio like anything he could step over. we do not know if he is in the custody or not!

Amuneyo wapenga!, ena akuti amuona ku nthochi pamene ana akuti he has turned into a wild beast. Which is which? Is this the way we are going to react to fellow beings? I do not know anyway! May be he though he is at a military school.

Roja! roj! this was the cry of one of the officer when weethawee vungumuzeed a chibakera at him and even those around him like afana Pi-ke. Blood was all over the place like a drain of soup!

Is it an abuse of office or not to call girls of Mzuni "Mahure" or not. Any way you may send your comments to the administrator though he does not need them.

It is sad to learn that the tack-spopper said that asikana-amene timahoperawa ndi mahure. Nobody knows why? Anyway it might be that anumukana kapena anamulola mwa ize!

In reaction to this the girls are very angry with his words, which they have come to know through the short guy so called the Director of Public Anouncements and his crew. Mkuluyu akukhala mwa mantha pakaripano pozindikira kuti wanyoza mahopu a afan "weethawee"!, amuna a zigogodo!

Eya!This is the time when those souls who were over-confident of unima have been shown the exit.Remember what they used to say? I will remind you. My fellow editor may worry about losing some of these intallectuals, that is, those who have been selected. Very true. Many are our friends so much so that we can not afford to lose them. Indeed, this institution must take some action, not because we do not want to lose these fellas, but....my friends....taxpayers MONEY!! Zingopita choncho ngati matowo zoona??
Anyway, I'm here for gossip...

Remember that MIJ guy? The Norway bound fella? Cheating people that he is in for Media For Development while in real sense he has been taken for Education(Humanities)? Where is the logic here friends? this degree(Humanities) is availlable here why, then, gor for it to unima? Sikufera lebel kumeneku. Munakhozadi reasoning skills koma? Bwanji osangopanga yapompano?

Then there's this other fellow doing ICT here(second semester) and taken for IT at the polytechnic(he applied for it!)Folks, which is better, a meal with both vegetables, proteins and carbohydrates and a meal with only carbohydrates and proteins? You know what I'm tanthauzing.

Zanu izo, ife tikukhala pa sukulu yathu yothinana ngati chibiliti cha machesiyi( in the words of Mr. MIJ). Ndipo mukumakayikumbuka everywhere you go. Si wina uja wabwera kuchokera ku Bunda? ujayi wa Irrigation engeneering uja inu. I just heard that Marcopollo is also on the way, unfounded eh? Search us.

Mesa munkainyoza mu nyuzi simply because mupita ku Unima komanso chifukwa choti ndinu ma celeb. Kuyipitsa pa msasa is not like that. better go in piece without unleashing obscene grenades at us.

Eya!This is the time when those souls who were over-confident of unima have been shown the exit.Remember what they used to say? I will remind you. My fellow editor may worry about losing some of these intallectuals, that is, those who have been selected. Very true. Many are our friends so much so that we can not afford to lose them. Indeed, this institution must take some action, not because we do not want to lose these fellas, but....my friends....taxpayers MONEY!! Zingopita choncho ngati matowo zoona??
Anyway, I'm here for gossip...

Remember that MIJ guy? The Norway bound fella? Cheating people that he is in for Media For Development while in real sense he has been taken for Education(Humanities)? Where is the logic here friends? this degree(Humanities) is availlable here why, then, gor for it to unima? Sikufera lebel kumeneku. Munakhozadi reasoning skills koma? Bwanji osangopanga yapompano?

Then there's this other fellow doing ICT here(second semester) and taken for IT at the polytechnic(he applied for it!)Folks, which is better, a meal with both vegetables, proteins and carbohydrates and a meal with only carbohydrates and proteins? You know what I'm tanthauzing.

Zanu izo, ife tikukhala pa sukulu yathu yothinana ngati chibiliti cha machesiyi( in the words of Mr. MIJ). Ndipo mukumakayikumbuka everywhere you go. Si wina uja wabwera kuchokera ku Bunda? ujayi wa Irrigation engeneering uja inu. I just heard that Marcopollo is also on the way, unfounded eh? Search us.

Mesa munkainyoza mu nyuzi simply because mupita ku Unima komanso chifukwa choti ndinu ma celeb. Kuyipitsa pa msasa is not like that. better go in piece without unleashing obscene grenades at us.

See how small our university is? We should do something to curb the massive exodus.

UNIMA continues to hit Mzuni under the belt as everytime it releases names of successful applicants there is always a massive exodus at Mzuni. We might not have ICT (1st year second semester) as all the guys have been given places on UNIMA's numerous programmes.

Mzuni gossip is giving you a rare chance to comment on this issue and who knows your view might help save tax payers' money!

We did not believe our ears when this spy of ours claimed to have slept with the lady. Why? Because the spy is a yearo and the lady? A finale. These things happen dont they?

So the chick decides to show people her true self. And how does she do it? In manner an amateur, a novice would despise. Sleeping with five guys in three days.

We are calling it sex hangover! Nanga si after her teacher-boyfriend dumped her on the grounds that she was having sex with a ground worker she was sex-hungry for 1 year and when offers started coming her way the flood gates were opened.

So far so good. But who is this lady? I could hear you asking? Well, let us describe her.

She was in musu as a vice something something. She has fake swellings in the sides and a rather not sexy voice.